Dumb and Short Endings
by Lenna the Fallen One
Summary: Okay, whatever. It's been 3 years. Maybe it still lives up to it's 70 reviews . . .
1. The Dumb Endings

Really Dumb Endings

These are some really dumb endings that my little brother and his little friend thought up. Read this and tell me how dumb this is, please! I wish I could put this in the dumb, little brother category. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft or the FF9 characters, or Barney (I hope I don't own Barney!) 

1.Zidane and Vivi died. Dagger came and kissed Zidane. The End. (Do NOT ask)

2.Zidane and Vivi went to bed. (Don't think what I'm thinking! * shakes head *) 

3.Zidane and Vivi moved their fingers. The End. 

4.Cid and Vivi had cake. The REAL End. O.o 

5.Zidane and Vivi said to have fun you guys and they had a heart attack. The End.

6.Zidane and Vivi took off their shirts and everyone saw that their stomachs were hairy. Dagger yelled, "Ahhhh! Get your shirts back on!" 

7.(This one is thought up by one of my brother's friends. 6 years old for my brother's friend.) Zidane, Vivi. The End.

8.Quina said "Mmmmmm" after Zidane turns into a giant cake. Just before Quina ate him, he yelled, "Get away!" The End.

9.Eiko became the fattest person in the world! (Even fatter than Queen Brahne!) The … well, you know.

10.Freya never went to Burmecia. She lived anywhere BUT Burmecia.

11.Amarant had beaten the living crap out of every person that was from Dali. The … you know.

12.Steiner sang the Barney song! The End (Can't imagine that)

13.Puck jumped off the Grand Canyon. The End. 

14.Everybody was in the time machine! Snicker The End.

15.Zidane said "Shut up!" The End. (Reminds me of a song)

16.Dagger had cake and Quina was in it. The End.

17.Freya slashed off Queen Brahne's 400 pounds of fat and the Queen won the beauty contest. (Dun Dun Dunnnn!) 

18.Kuja is the one and only girly man! The End.

19."There's too many Vivis!" Puck screamed.

20.Brahne is fat and ugly, fat and ugly, fat and ugly, did I tell she was fat and ugly? 

21.Dagger fell flat on her face! Ha ha! The … End. 

22.Kuja fell asleep and he drooled. The End.

23.Kuja asks me out for EJ and EJ says ye… Wait a MINUTE! This isn't supposed to be down! Grrrr… Scott!

Okay… this is the end on the really dumb ending list. Review and/or rate this.

1.Good

2.Little dumbness.

3.Medium dumbness.

4.Really dumb.

5.So dumb that you decided to dress up as a monkey who wears a dress and joins the circus! –smileytail2002 


	2. More Dumb Endings for your everyday life...

More Dumb Endings for Your Everyday Life

Hey, people! These are some more dumb endings that you can laugh at! I'm going to put a different rating thingy this time. So keep rating! Oh yeah! One reviewer asked me who is EJ. EJ Pinkham is a good friend of mine. NOT a boyfriend. Friends say I love him though, but I don't! This is going to be a secret, okay? As for the disclaimer I don't own FF9 or definitely Britney Spears. And I'd thank the first four reviewers for reviewing. Yeaaahh!

1. Fratley dumped Freya for Lani because he really didn't understand and Freya was so mad... let's just say Fratley somehow ended up with amnesia again, okay? 

2. Zidane finally tripped over Eiko! Yaaaay! The End.

3. Garnet tried to make crepes (A/N: I took French for three weeks!) and when she flipped them, it landed square on Amarant's face! The End.

4. Many Hilda Garde crashes later, Cid made his 1,000,000,000,000 Hilda Garde airship! The End.

5. Eiko is finally swimming without water wingies! The End.

6. Zidane sucked all the helium out of a tank and sounded like an opera singer for three months. The End.

7. After singing the Barney song, Steiner started singing 'Oops! I did it again.' The ... End.

8. Amarant wore a little kid's hat and overalls with an ice-cream protesting for an allowance! The... you know. 

9. Zidane and Freya were playing Gran Tourismo until Eiko summoned Madeen (uh ooooohhh). The End

10. Garnet made the Guinness Book of World Records by being the worst cook ever! The End.

11. Zidane lost his tail to an Alaskan Bull Worm! The End.

12. Freya did also! The End.

13. Quina decided to eat Walmart and finished the WHOLE store in two minutes! The End.

14. Vivi ate a Tricia! (Tricia Fuller is called a cow in my class even though she's thin.) The End.

15 Eiko, Garnet, and Freya had a pillow fight! The End.

16. Amarant went on a train and started humming like Selphie! The End.

17. Cid and Vivi died from the cake they had earlier! The... oooohhh.

Now, how dumb was this chapter? Rate and/or review!

1.Good or Smart

2.Dumb

3.Dumber than dressing as a monkey

4.Dumber than watching Barney

5.So dumb that it seems that anything that is dumb is smart!

-smileytail2002


	3. The Dumb Endings to Soothe Your Soul

More FF9 endings to soothe your soul

_This story is becoming a hit! I hope. As for the almighty disclaimer, I don't own anything in this story except my wonderful idea! Now, on to the dumb endings._

1. Zidane and Vivi had pizza. The End.

2. Everybody jumped! The End.

3. "I like eggs," Eiko said. The End.

4. Freya jumped onto a fan! The End.

5. Quina actually ate Terra! The End.

6. Amarant decide to beat up people only with yarn hair.

7. Garnet went to a fair and all she did was go on the kiddy rides.

8. Quina wrote a 735 page book without any grammatical errors and it is about the skeletal system. (Whoa! Too many big words!)

9. Steiner went into an ocean with his rusty armor! The End.

10. Vivi dissolved his food! The End.

11. Zidane used his tail for a fishing pole! The End.

12. Freya was on who wants to be a Millionaire and she won! The End.

13. Steiner cleaned his armor! The End.

14. Lindblum needed a tooth fairy and Amarant signed up to be it! The End.

15. Vivi went from good to a CRAZY CHAINSAW-BEARING MANIAC! AAAAAHHHH! The End.

16. Dagger lost to Eiko in a beauty pageant! (Dun dun dunnnn!)

Now rate/review on how dumb this is. I go back to school on Monday because my vacation ends this week! So my friend Jessica is going to help me on some ratings. So rate with the old ratings! Sunday is my basketball banquet. Yaaay! Oh yeah! You should read my other story the Dumbest Adventure for Cloud. My friends liked it!


	4. It Continues! Mwahahahaha! Ack!

__

Hey! I'm here to give you more dumb endings. Umm, I can't think of anything else. As for the disclaimer, I don't own the game or the company, or the pizza! Now, on to the wonderful story.

Chapter 4: It Continues!

1. Vivi danced to Polka. The End.

2. Zidane shaved his bald! The End.

3. Garnet talks to Mr. Fluffy about her feelings. The End.

4. Freya made Vivi laugh and milk shot out of his nose. The End.

5. (Heh Heh) EIKO SHAVED HER HEAD BALD!!! YEAH! The End.

6. Kuja wore farmers' clothes. The End.

7. "How are you? Are your intelligent disciples doing superb?" Quina asked an instructor. The End.

8 Zidane, Vivi, Steiner, and Amarant are also known as the four stooges! (Isn't there supposed to be three?) The End.

9. Vivi dissolved in the pool. The End.

10. Amarant ate icecream. The End.

11. Eiko blew up! The End.

12. Freya is allergic to Zidane! The End.

13. Puck turned into a cow! The End.

14. After the crash with chapter 2's Hilda Garde Cid built another one. (refer to chapter 2)

15. Zidane learned how to tie his shoes! The End.

16. Vivi turned into a Tricia! The End. (Tricia is a cow in my class even though she's pretty thin)

17. Instead of Eiko's hair growing on her head, it grew on her face! The End. (I did not think of that, my good friend Jessica Pinkham did.)

Okay, Now it's Raaaatttttiiinnng time! Here's a new rating symstem and I'm going to keep it for a week.

1. Good

2. Dumb

3. Really Dumb

4. Really, Really Dumb

5. So Dumb that you should wear a croc suit in MDI (it's a dance show). (We're doing Peter Pan and all the 8th grade girls in my school are crocodiles)


	5. Yipee! It's Dumb!

Yipee! It's Dumb!

__

Hey people! The chapter quatre is up! (four if you know what I mean. I took French like I said)

1.Cid won a game. The End.

2. Eiko was rejected from Kindergarten. The End.

3. Zidane burped out the ABC's. The End.

4. After 'Oops I did it again' Steiner sang 'It's Gonna Be Me' by N' Stink (You're seeing this right. I hate N' Sync just to tell you.)

5. Vivi ate five gallons of ice cream and never threw up. The End.

6. Quina baked a cake. The End.

7. 'Garnet got ran over by airship. Walking home from Lindblum, Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as oglops, but as for Freya and Eiko they believe.' The End. (sung to the tune, Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer.)

8. Amarant surfed a 1 million foot wave. The End.

9. Ozma fell on all the characters! The End.

10. Freya fell in 10 gallons of butter! The End.

11. Kuja took a picture of me and EJ- what the hell?! The End.

12. Jessica took the same picture and posted it on the Internet and all over town! The End. (... I didn't write this.)

13. Zidane screamed like a girl. The End.

14. Zidane hit his head against the limbo stick when playing limbo. The End. 

15. Eiko sang with Steiner! The End.

16. All the characters did the bunny hop dance! The End.

17. (a reviewer requested this. Thanks Lu Jianshu Ai Mankuan!) Dagger and Zidane had a kid, and the kid had a horn and a tail. The End.

18. The kid was freakin' ugly! The End.

Well, I'm done this chapter. Rate or review referring to last chapter's ratings. Well, I see the mail coming! 


	6. The Return of Dr. Dumb

The Return of Dr. Dumb!

__

Hi, people! This is going to be my sixth chapter! Thank you to all the people who reviewed! Okay, as for the disclaimer I don't own anything that has to do with a company. Okay, on to the story.

1. Vivi's kids had kids, who had kids, had kids, who had kids, whose kids had kids... The End.

2. Garnet lost 2,000,000,000,000,000 gil in a store... but never noticed. The End.

3. The Wingly Moogles lost to the Barricading Chocobos 68-2 in basketball because of Zidane. The End.

4. Amarant is still trying to lkearn his ABC's. The End.

5. Everybody went to school! The End.

6. Freya, Eiko, Vivi, and Zidane had a klutz contest. Vivi won. The End.

7. Garnet played the and she swallowed it. She sounds happy all the time now. The End.

8. The cause of the Titanic's sinking was Quina's appetite, not an iceberg. The End.

9. Zidane shouted, "It's New Year's Day!" The End

10. Fratley fell off a 2 inch cliff and had amnesia for the rest of his life. The End.

11. The characters drew a picture of a chair. The End.

12. Garnet, Eiko, and Freya were arguing over how cute or ugly Kuja is. The End. (Sounds like my friends.)

13. (Jessica (My friend) suggested this) Eiko had a nervous breakdown because she broke a nail flushing a toilet that was automatic. The End. (Reminds me of my friend Cori. She is a klutz like Vivi, only worse.)

14. Zidane went on a ride called the Killer and was murdered by the killer. The End.

15. Freya tried jumping into the pool, only to find unconsciousness and nothing in it. The End.

16. Garnet tried breaking a glass dog, only to find that the dog was alive... and mad. The End.

_This is the end of this chapter! I hope you like it! You rate it or review (refer to chapter 3) and I'll write more! Bye! _


	7. Never Fear, New Chapter is here!

Never Fear, New Chapter is Here!(And some with a quest into other games)

__

Sorry for the delay, but here it is! Yeah! I also have 23 reviews for this dumb story. Thank you, people! (Except for the flamer) 

1. Choco won the basketball tournament against the FF9 characters. The End.

2. Mene became a monster moogle and fried the FF9 crew. The End.

3. Zidane tried writing a letter to all his friends with his left hand (A/N: I'm left-handed), but wrote just scribbles. The End.

4. Vivi visited Eiko one day and was talking Antartic to her. (If your thinking that Antartic is a language, I think it's not)

5. Garnet became a whore and did the wild thang with every person that came along her way (including girls and old people!). The End

6. Freya decided to give up her duties as a dragoon part time and decided to work as a part time criminal. The End.

7. (A/n: Sorry about the next part!) Dagger died of hallucinations, Zidane died of a disease that only affects monkeys, and Dagger's number 1 whore person died of both. The End.

8. Eiko, Freya, Vivi, and Zidane ran into the wrong game and ended up fighting Michael, the most powerful dragon in The Legend of Dragoon. Uhhh Ohhhh... The End.

9. The same characters AGAIN unmistakenly (however it is spelled) went to FF2 (or 4) and were falling in the crashing Big Whale and the ship exploded. The... oh crap! I've been hit with a chunk!

10. The same exact characters went into FF6 after three months of amnesia and ended up fighting Kefka and his baddies. ...Only problem is that Kefka is 1000 times stronger than in the game. Oh no.

11. The same character went into FF7 with a lot of pain and were almost killed by Sephiroth. The End

12. After an eternity and time stopping pills recovery, Eiko thought a drumstick was a flute and she blew on it and passed out. The End.

13. Freya and Garnet gave all the guys a punishment of stripping on a cold day in Afganistan, in a gay bar, AND in front of Osama Bin Laden. The End.

14. The OTHER way around in number 13!


	8. Chapter I don't Care but it's Dumb!

Chapter I Don't Know But it Has to do With Dumbness!

__

Hey! I'm sorry that last chapter was such a bore but my tests (MEA- Maine Education Assessment ) that I took nearly left me brainless. It still might not be as good, but my tests will be finished Monday. You can help out by giving me ideas to post!

1. Eiko was crying because a rock and a wall cheated on her with each other. The End.

2. Dagger was trying to sell super secret star emotion lotion to everyone. The End.

3. Steiner ate a sweet smelling gystahl pickle and spat it out machine gun like at everyone. The End. (Remember? The worse they smell the better they taste.) The End.

4. Eiko threw a snowball at Amarant. The End.

5. Freya bopped Eiko in the head with the head of her spear after Eiko threw a snowball and pretty soon they were in a cat fight. The End.

6. Eiko did the same thing to a dog and they had a dog fight and after Eiko had 314 stitches. The End.

7. Quina was caught being a smart, geeky, pizza boy/girl. The End.

8. Dagger was caught kissing Fratley and Zidane and Freya had a double team fight. The End.

9. Amarant ate chicken- Kuja flavored. The End.

10. Vivi played with a mouse (computer) and accidentally burned some CD's (clue: I used Vivi in this). The End.

11. Vivi and Zidane blew on gel pens and accidentally sucked the ink in. The End.

12. Quina has a rubber pencil! The... zzzzzzzz... I'm up!

13. (to the tune of Old McDonald) Old 634 had a village. Eei-eei-oh! And in that village was a Vivi. Eei-eei-oh! With a burn, burn here, and a burn burn there. Here a fire, there a fire, everywhere a fire. Old 634 HAD a village. Eei-eei-ooohhh! The End. 

14. Dagger and Zidane hated each other since that day... The End. (see #8 for complete details) 

_I guess I'm done this chapter. Remember to rate and no flames please!!! -smileytail2002_


	9. The Dumb Attack the Smart!

Chapter 9- The Dumb Attack the Smart!

__

Well, another day. Another part of life. Feet... stink. This is all I say for now! Now, I present to you the story. (I was listening to all the downloaded music (mostly from the FFs) at the moment)

1. Dagger bought a cow! The End.

2. Vivi was singing the Barney song. The End.

3. After Dagger and Zidane broke up in the last chapter he worked with Freya and created the biggest nuclear missile... hehehe. The End. 

4. A dog licked Amarant all the way home. The End.

5. Freya threw Eiko and she flew 45 feet in the air! The End.

6. Zidane ate snow... that was yellow. The End.

7. "The airship still won't work after the other 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 airship!" Eiko screamed.

8. Everybody, including Quina called each other at the same time yelling, "WAZZZZZZZZUP!" The End.

9. The guys played Queens and Servants... I really don't want to talk about it. The End.

10. Zidane lost to everyone in Triple Triad, including the worst players! (you know, the one from FF8) The End. 

11. "Do you want to go out?" Freya asked. "Sure," answered Zidane. 

"You can't steal my girlfriend!" Kuja yelled. "Oh yes I will!" yelled Zidane.

This is actually them playing with beanie babies when they were little; pretend they were neighbors that went to each others house every day. The End.

12. Zidane wrote a story! The End.

13. Vivi won a scholarship to...... NOWHERE! The End.

14. Amarant married a cow. The End. (cow aka Tricia!)

15. The FF9 crew went to school and had a science class for an hour about sound waves and the vibration in the ear. The End.

16. The crew except Amarant made a video about their home and themselves and it only appeared on America's Funniest Home Videos! The End.

__

AHHHHHH! I took tests everyday for a week! So I lost my good thoughts. I really, really, really need ideas to post! You can still rate (Look at chapter three) if you want but NO FREAKIN' FLAMES (I'm going to plan something evil for that person who flamed me... hehehe. )


	10. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

Chapter 10: Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb... 

__

Hey, I'm back! I don't have anymore tests so I think my head's straight. Tell me if I am after reading this chapter.

1. Zidane wrote the number 13. The End.

2. Zidane bought the most expensive ring for himself for 25 gil. The End.

3. Vivi won! The End.

4. "Whatever," Amarant said until Squall strangled him. The End.

5. Freya sang opera! The End.

6. Dagger cooked. The End.

7. Eiko lost a fight... to a fly! The End.

8. Dagger went skiing and ran into a snowboarding Vivi, a swimming Eiko, a snowmobiling Freya, a skating Amarant, a tongue boarding Quina, and a flying Zidane. The End.

9. Amarant's true love is an oak tree and was caught humping it. The End.

10. Eiko ate one of Quina's frog and she thought they were really good. The End. 

11. Zidane is actually... frog man! The End.

12. "Pillow fight!" Freya yelled, acting like an average 21 year old. Or... maybe not. The End.

13. "I'm a *bleep* , and a *bleep*, and a *bleep* and I hope you have a *bleep* day!" Eiko screamed.

14. "Attitude is everything. And I'm the Queen of Attitude!" Dagger yelled. The End.

Here's a bonus part....

1. imqueenattitude@hotmail.com - Dagger

2. cutiewinner@hotmail.com- Zidane 

3. meluvyummieyummies@hotmail.com- Quina

4. mooglesrock@hotmail.com- Eiko

5. whatever@hotmail.com OR imtoocool4u@hotmail.com- Amarant

6. imgonnausefiragaonallofu@hotmail.com- Vivi

7. highjumpindragon@hotmail.com- Freya

8.rustytincan@hotmail.com- Steiner

__

I'm done with chapter! I'm don't know what to say except read, rate, and review please!


	11. Oh No, it's Dumb!

Chapter I can't think of a chapter!

__

I'm back and as happy as ever! Right now my friends and I are debating about gays or lesbians. Would you like to debate too, and I'll show my friends. Do you go for or against gay people? You don't have to answer but I want to end this argument! Now, on to the story once again.

1. Zidane bought a cucumber. The End.

2. The trick sparrow ate Zidane! The End.

3. Quina fell on Vivi! The End.

4. "Paper!" Dagger screamed. The End.

5. Eiko humped a tree! The End.

6. Freya challenged Amarant to a duel and he just cried and ran away. The End.

7. Vivi freaked out because he thought a red marker had blood instead of ink. The End.

8. Zidane roared like a cow! The End.

9. Quina ate nothing! The End.

10. Dagger thought the snow was dandruff and they were coming to attack her. The End.

11. Dagger married a cow named Tricia! The End.

12. Freya and Zidane were debating with Kid and Serge (from Chrono Cross) about which game was better: Chrono Cross or FF9. The End.

13. Vivi bought a plush Zidane and burned off his head because of obvious reasons. The End.

14. Everyone flew like my brother when I get mad! Mwahahahahaha! The End. 

__

I don't have much to say about this chapter except rate and review (and/or debate)!


	12. Bye Bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chev...

Chapter 12: Bye-Bye Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the...

__

Hey! I'm back for another chapter! This one will probably not be as funny and as long. Well, here's the chapter!

1. Everyone tripped over each other! The End.

2. Quina flopped like a fishy when he was in the water. The End.

3. Ba, ba, blue Eiko had some little summons. Yes sir, yes sir, three gil each. One for the King (of Burmecia), one for Cid, one for the gay guy that likes to bid.

4. "Oh my god! This place is like, all dry and not wet!" Freya yelled.

5. "Hi," Amarant said. The End.

6. Eiko kicked and killed a moogle for no reason. The End.

7. Eiko went to jail for that. The End. 

8. The moogle haunted Eiko for the rest of her life! Mwahahahahahahaha! The End.

9. Freya had a new camcorder and she SOMEHOW snuck into the guys bathroom and you don't want to know the rest. The End.

10. Eiko sang like N' Sync. The End.

11. Quina ate my highschool! (Or the school I'll be going to next year) The End.

12. Amarant turned into a funny looking cat after wearing his Cat's Claws. The End.

13. Vivi burnt fire! The End.

14. Kuja flew into the Alexandrian Sword. The End.

15. Everyone fell! The End.

__

I'm done this chapter. Maybe I can start a debate thingy or something. Well, rate on this stupid fic!


	13. Mwahahhahahahahahahaha! Coke and Dumbnes...

Chapter 13: Ahhhhhhhh!

_Hey! Well I kind of know that this story is getting a bit dull and a little sick, but I'm trying to make it up using this chapter. So here it is!_

1. "They're 16 counties in our state. They're Cumberland and Franklin. Piscataquis and Somerset...," Zidane blabbed on and on and became a nerd. The End.

2. "Ahhh! A white room! I'm whiting out!" Dagger screamed. The End.

3. Now Dagger painted herself white and yelled, "I'm part of the room! Yes! Oh yeah! Who's the Queen, baby, whose the Queen?" Err... The End?

4. "The drink that's beats the others cold, Pepsi's got the taste. (AN: I don't know the rest of the commercial, the one that has the 1960's Britney Spears in it.)," Freya sang, ending with holding a Pepsi bottle and winks. The End. (Just think about-and picture it!)

5. Eiko fell off a ladder and has 11,785 years of bad luck. The End.

6. Quina screamed like a frog when he/she was near a 1,042,489,999,989,724,582 watt stereo when the music blared.

7. Zidane bought a sword that was similar to Cloud Strife's and accidentally cut Kuja in half when he was nice. The END.

8. Freya and Eiko came along a copier and were playing with it (just Eiko) until Vivi tripped and copied 1,000,000 pictures of himself. I wonder if those would sell for 1,000,000 gil each? The End.

9. Zidane had bought a spatula and a pan and yelled, "I'm the new knight of Alexandria! Face my spatula if you dare!" The End.

10. When Vivi went on King Ed plains, King Edgar showed up from FF6 and yelled, "These are my plains! How'd it get into this stupid game! (following with Vivi yelling, "Hey!") These plains is what attracts women! Now get out of flirting plains!" The End.

11. A venus fly trap ate Quina! The End.

12. A ruby dragon from FF8 picked up Balamb Garden and hit the FF9 crew, injuring both the FF9 crew and FF8 crew. The End.

13. Amarant thought the sap from maple trees was the tree's pee. The End.

14. Eiko wondered how come Freya was in jail for two days. Reason- Freya's actually 20 years 364 1/4 days, 32 sec. 56 milliseconds. The End.

__

I'm done this chapter so now you can rate or review! Yeah!


	14. Chapter Whatever: Blah, Blah, Blah

Chapter Whatever: Blah, blah, blah, blah

__

Yeah I know this hasn't been funny but this chapter will just be dumb. OK? Now, here is the story.

1. The pie hit Zidane! The End.

2. Vivi beat Quina to a game of paper scissors, rock, and dynamite! *coughthecoughmiddlecoughfinger* The End.

3. A ton hit Vivi in the head! The End.

4. "Happy Birthday to me!" Eiko said. The End.

5. Stacey was hit with a pie! The End. (I know it doesn't have to do with the story, Stacey wanted to.) 

6. Vivi used water then fire to clean the board and burn the school! The End.

7. "There must be a pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow," Dagger the Leprechaun said. The End.

8. Zidane tried for his driver's license! Dun dun duuuunnn! The End. 

9. Replace Jessica for #8. The End.

* 10. I pleaded for her life as Jessica threatened to kill me her for #9. The End. 

* 11. Zidane grew to be 89 years old and tried to be gay. He found out he DID liked it and killed himself. The End.

* 12. Zidane grew to be 89 years old and tried to be gay, AGAIN. He found out he DIDN'T like it and killed himself for trying.

* 13. Dagger went to take a mud bath because she was a pig and her Eidolons were giving to... Zidane.

* 14. Eiko got a new job at Road Kill Cafe where you kill people and they grill them. The End.

* 15. Amarant got a new job with Stanely's Septic where you crap and they suck-a. The End.

16. Freya, with the flick of her tail, turn the Cleyrans into apples! The End.

* = Jessica's ideas

Well, I'm done this story, but I'm rerating this to Pg-13 for obvious reasons. Bye, people for now!


	15. Chapter Whatever: I Just Hope This Chapt...

Chapter Whatever: I Just Hope This One's Better Than the Last...

__

I'm sorry, guys that the last chapter just sucked, (Jessica thought of a lot). So, I'm going to try making it up with this chapter. 

Jessica- I only wrote 4!

Me- ...You were the cause of me not getting any of the reviews! Now on to the story.

1. Quina is a soda can... the Pepsi kind! The End.

2. Zidane bought a smiley face baseball! The End.

3. "Moo..." Vivi said. The End.

4. "Oh no! The piece of cheese was shot a lot! Oh why did you have to die!" Zidane cried over and over. It was Swiss cheese too... The End.

5. Oh, damn. I forgot it my recess duty," Quina said.

6. This young monkey. He played A. He played in one of Lord Avon's plays. With a knick knack patty whack, give Amarant a bone, this young monkey need's a tent loan. The End.

7. Dagger sold herself for 1 gil! The End.

8. Freya and Vivi did the hula dance with the skirts and coconut bras! The End.

9. Hello, operator give me number nine, and if you disconnect me I will paddle your behind. Behind the frigerator there was a piece of glass, Suzy sat upon it and it went right up her..." Eiko sang. (Jess thought of this one) The End.

10. Vivi flew! ...literally. The End.

11. Freya kicked a soccer ball and it went through Vivi! The End.

12. Dagger sold a piece of paper for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and so on and so forth gil. The End.

13. Mwahahahahahahaha... coughcough... ha... choke...hahahaha... gasp... hmm, I cannot laugh as good as Sir Kefka," Kuja said. The End.

14. Red XIII became President of the United States and the King of England! The End. (I felt like putting this down)

Okay, I'm done this chapter so rate or review! 


	16. Chapter Whatever But It's Dumb

Chapter I'm Not Sure But Its Dumb!

__

Sorry people that this story hasn't been that good lately but I'm starting to run out of ideas. I'll try and think up some more in the mean time because I made a bet for 2 dollars or a notebook that I wouldn't play video games or watch TV. And I'm going to win that bet, you'll see! Mwahahahahahahahaha! Okay, now on to the story.

1.The Egyptian grass attacked Eiko! The End.

2. "Listen to my new song! La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, we love me!" Garnet sang. The End.

3. Quina jumped into two millimeters of water and drowned. The End and poor Quina.

4. Vivi did the boogie woogie! The End.

5. Freya never liked Fratley because he went out with... dun dun dun! Amarant! The End.

6. The huggable Vivi was... huggable! The End.

7. The tree hugged Vivi! The End.

8. Garnet fell for Steiner instead of Zidane! The End.

9. A hose was thought of as a snake and it scared the FF9 crew out of their wits. The End. 

10. Zidane, flowers, tail. The End.

11. Amarant listened to music. The End.

Now I thought up some more emails! Check them out!

1. ihatezidaneforobviousreasons@hotmail.com- Dagger

2. im2sexy@hotmail.com- Kuja

3. imdabanditandladiesknowthat@hotmail.com- Zidane

4. imwanted@hotmail.com- Amarant

5. ihatefratley4obviosreasons@hotmail.com- Freya (read #9)

6. thehornydevil@hotmail.com- Eiko (and no, I'm not thinking about the horny part, I meant horn with a y)

7. rusty&beatrix4eva@hotmail.com- Steiner

8. huggablevivi@hotmail.com OR crash&burnmwahahahaha@hotmail.com- Vivi

9. iluvamarant@hotmail.com- you don't want to know. (read short ending #5)

10. food@hotmail.com- just guess...

__

I'm glad that this chapter is over and Spring Break is coming! Yeah! I will send you a scary pop up ghost over email if I get your email addresses. So rate and review please!


	17. Chapter I don't Care: I don't Care!

Chapter 17: I don't Care!

__

Hey people, I'm back! As you know (I think), I wrote a new story because I didn't have any thoughts at the time but, I found some more ideas. Well, here goes.

1. Zidane's not from Dragon Ball Z! (I hate that show...) The End.

2. Funny, Freya was handcuffed to a monkey! The End.

3. When Eiko is mad she uses her horn and charges like a bull. The End.

4. The evil Garnet stole... oglops! The End.

5. Vivi ate dissolved food. The End.

6. Quina... soda can. The End.

7. The chair gobbled up Garnet! The End.

8. Ding dong the queen is dead, the queen is dead, the queen is dead, ding dong the fatty queen is dead! The End.

9. Garnet turned into a chicken pie. And was eaten by a familiar it... The End.

10. The evil monster dog was actually Quina that was in an ad for I hate dog food commercial.

11. Freya jumped... and she hit an airship... The End.

12. Wow... Vivi is not huggable for the first time! Ahhhh! The End.

13. The dragon landed flat on... Zidane! Then it farted...oh...God... The End.

14. Meow mix, meow mix is really fun! Meow mix, meow mix, Zidane is dumb. The End.

Well, I'm done here today because I'm not feeling well at all. 


	18. Chapter Err...umm...It Doesn't Matter, R...

Chapter Err...um...Ah Well, Who really Cares?

__

Well, I'm back for another chapter and it may be stupid. If it's just dumb, well that what I intended it to be!

1. (This one I thought of is from FF7) After Aeris died Mike actually thought of a speech because he knew she would die. Now he's glad he does not have a stalker. The End.

2. Fratley pushed Freya in a pool of mud! The End.

3. Dagger licked a lollipop. The End.

4. The Eiko jumped over the moon! Wellll...kind of. Let's say Amarant helped... The End.

5. The 1,000,002 Hilda Garde (read chapter three) crashed into Zidane. The End.

6. Zidane ate broccoli. The End.

7. Quina ate a nuclear missile. *Ka-Boom!!!!* Hmm... The End.

8. Freya jumped...and fell into a nearby garbage dump. The End.

9. Zidane rode a snowmobile at 103 mph and went right through a pile of snow and went over a cliff which on the ground was a bunch of evil moogles holding a meeting for plans about world domination.

10. The moogles held Zidane hostage. The End.

11. "Mmm...man!" Eiko said. The End.

12. Pooh Bear was the leader of the moogles and he'd only let Zidane go if he would bring the bear honey. The End.

13. The chicken crossed the road because of who else? Quina! The End.

Sorry people, but these are all the ideas I have at this moment but I'll try to think up more with the help of Zamber Tigertail.


	19. Chapter 19: It Doesn't Really Need a Cha...

Chapter 19: It Doesn't Really Need a Chapter Name, Does it?

__

Hey guys, I'm back for a new chapter since the writing of my new story Kuja's Taking Over FF7! It doesn't mean that I'm going to quit here. Well here goes...

1. Since Cid couldn't come, Vivi had cake with Quina. The End.

2. An anvil hit Cid's head for not eating cake with Vivi. The End. (Bad Cid!)

3.Quina thought Zidane's tail was a huge gummy worm that was furry... The End.

4. "Ahh! The evil stapler of doom is taking over my love letter!" Eiko screamed. The End.

5. Eiko made a voodoo doll of Dagger and she had fun with it... until a dog came and chewed it up! The End.

6. Beatrix kicked butt... Beatrix style! The End.

7. After the "stapler of doom" posted Eiko's love letter on the notice board in Alexandria, the stapler (now known as Staples) posted Eiko with the letter! The End.

8. "You can kiss my butt goodbye!" Dagger yelled. Then her butt disappeared. The End.

9. Super monkey came to Alexandria! The End. (You know who...)

10. Freya had target practice with a gun for the first time; Target: Brahne. The End.

11. The winter left Alexandrian soldiers poor and hungry so they chopped up Brahne and had her to eat for the next 3 years. The End.

12. The voodoo doll of Dagger made Dagger do the moonwalk Michael Jackson style and the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom-bad-so-hurry dance. The End.

13. There once was a Brahne in the window, the one with the big fat butt! There once was a Brahne in the window, I do hope the missile hits the slut! The End.

14. The eensy, weensy Quina ate up the water spout. Down came the people and hit the Quina out! Out came the spider that Quina had eaten and the Quina ran away so it won't get beaten, The End.

Okay, I'm done here but I have a new rating system!

1. So smart it's genius

2. Smart

3. A little on the dumb side

4. Dumb

5. So dumb that you paste a tail to your butt, rabbit paws to your hands and feet, and a Power Ranger's mask to your face, and you join the traveling circus, and scream, "It's a beautiful day and I love Mickey Mouse!"


	20. ChapterI forgot

Chapter I Forgot

Okay I'm back with some new dumb endings with the help of my new friend, Zamber Tigertail. The ones with an asterisk.

* 1. Zidane and Freya argued over the correct pronunciation of Vivi's name. The End.

2. Then again, they argued who's tail is better. The End.

* 3. Quan came back to life and ate Vivi, just like he wanted to. The End. (Nooooowwww he's tall enough)

4. Quan wanted Vivi for a full course meal, not an bite-size Oreo cookie. The End.

* 5. Bahamut destroyed Alexandria again. The End.

6. Then Quina became homicidal and killed Alexandria again by eating it. The End.

7. Bahamut destroyed Alexandria again...but, there was no more Alexandria because of Quina the Eata. The End.

* 8. Dagger went into debt from repairing the city. (But there's still no Alexandria!) The End.

* 9. Vivi and Eiko made fun of each other's names. The End. (I think is sounds like Veevee)

* 10. Because of his tail, Zidane was put in a zoo. The End.

11. Then he was put on Ripley's Believe or Not! as a mutated monkey. The End.

12. Steiner's armor rusted to the point where it stuck on him forever and was also put on Ripley's Believe or Not! (I had to change it a little Zmaber and this would be classified as mine and hers) The End.

13. Amarant wore overalls. The End.

This is it so far and I'm going to put some of your ideas in each chapter. Well, see you guys next chapter!


	21. Chapter 21: Today's a Dumb Day

Chapter 21: Today's a Dumb Day!

__

I'm back again (after getting banned off the internet for a few days) and I thought of some endings. I put in the rest of Zamber's endings too. 

* 1. Everyone became the stars of Friends and were paid 1 million gil per episode. The End.

2. Chocolate is only for girls. Ask Eiko! The End.

3. Forget her, ask Selphie! The End.

* 4. Zidane made a discovery, "Hey, our game works for the PS2!" The End.

5. He also made a discovery that the game works for the PS1. The End.

* 6. Everyone discovered FF.N and they screamed in horror. The End.

7. Everyone saw the new show Spongebob Swiss Cheese, then they screamed in horror (except Vivi and Eiko who are still too naive). The End.

8. Freya quickly flipped the channel and Barney was on. THEN they screamed in horror. (Except Quina and Eiko: Please don't ask...) The End.

9. Amarant was reading. The End.

10. "Oh my God! There's nothing and it's attacking the princess!" Steiner screamed. The End

11. The crew chatted online with the Power Rangers, only to find them stupid as snowballs... The End.

12. *coughAmaranthackhadcoughawheezelittlechokebunnyphew* The End.

13. (5,000,000 years later) "I muuuust proooooteeeect theeeee priiiiinceeeessssss," a dead Steiner said. The End.

14. "Oh yeah! It's Friday!" Zidane said. "SHIT!" Freya yelled. "Hehe, you swore!" Zidane tattled. "No, I meant Sorry Honey Its Thursday," Freya replied. The End.

15. Cid's thoughts while talking: (*^!%#%@#^%&!)#_$(!&*&$@&!(#($($#%*^@%*^$()@(*&$&*_))()()()((()@)(()(()(()@*&$@&$^%!#&!%&#%^&^%&@#%^@-Whoops, wrong one- Hilda Garde 1, Hilda Garde 2, Hilda Garde 3, Hilda Garde 4, Hilda Garde 5, Hilda Garde 6, Hilda Garde 7, Hilda Garde 8, Hilda Garde 9... The End.

16. Umm... Vivi... err, umm... did... hmm... well,... never mind, but this is a moment with Zidane: *listening to music* Backstreet's back al------...Wait! What happened to the coolest song! Come on! Vivi, I know you wanted to burn the CD, Freya, I know you wanted to use the disk for target practice, Dagger, I know you wanted to use it as a mirror, and Eiko, I know you love N' Sync (A/n: *Shudder...twitch...*) better, so can you guys turn it back on? 

"Firaga!"

"Dragon Crest!" 

"Bahamut!"

"Madeen!"

The End.

Phew, that was the longest short ending I came up with. By the way, I've never had writer's block. What is it like? 


	22. Chapter uhhThe Dumb Conquer the Stupid!

Chapter (Insert Chapter # Here): The Conquer the Stupid!!

__

Ahh, finally! At first I was gonna delete this but I thought of some more while in my extremely boring classes. Yeah I know, the last time I posted this story was like, a zillion years ago. Anyway, here are some more. 

1. Garnet married a chocobo named Wark. The End.

2. Zidane now lives in the zoo. The End.

3. Eiko died of pep pills! The End.

4. Forget that!!! Selphie died of pep pill overdose! (sorry Selphie fans!) 

5. Kuja can't get the Kefka laugh! But I did! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...Ahem, The End.

6. Freya now does the loopy dance with Vivi and Amarant in the middle of the street! ...uh, The End?

7. Queen Brahne rose from the dead and had gotten impaled by the huge now broken sword on Alexandria! The End. 

8. At the end Garnet married Quina and Zidane married Eiko! Now how do you like that for the secret ending when you have Cinna's hammer! Hehe...The End.

9. Quina now polishes Vivi's feet with his/her's tongue! Eww...the end.

10. Garnet tripped down the royal Alexandrian stairs running, falling through 3 floors, and breaking her nose. The End.

11. Steiner slashed at the Necron plush toy, thinking Necron's right there spying on him. The End.

12. Cinna, Marcus, and Blank form the invincible team, Zidane's Angels! (They even do that little pose like in Charlie's angels but Blank trips and falls causing everyone else to fall.) The...well, you ought to know.

__

Well, this is what I can only think of at the moment, until next year! Okay, maybe the next two weeks. By the way no one but Squaresoft owns Final Fantasy!


	23. Chapter Uh Oh

Chapter Something: Uh Oh!

__

I have nothing to say in this except imagine the endings!

1. Kuja now spends his days singing "I'm too sexy" and walking on a catwalk, swinging his furry butt around. The End.

2. Vivi became the new hit pop sensation, Vivola! He now sells 602,974,262,942,340 copies of his new CD, Burning Meteor, for $30.99 each! The End.

3. Zidane now walks on the catwalk with his brother, also singing "I'm too sexy." The End.

4. Quina now works at McDonalds. One day the manager comes in the restaurant to find everything empty... The End.

5. Kuja wonders why his hair looks like chocobo feathers...(The silver one) The End.

6. Freya and Garnet became a duet, releasing their own CD, Jumping Eidolons, for $30.98 each! The End.

7. Kuja now hosts the battle of the bands and its on a new channel, Kuja 123. The End.

8. Vivi sung in the New Battle of the Bands, (on Kuja 123...) but the people who was competing was Freya and Garnet, N'Sync, and Britney Spears. Guess the two people who was eliminated. The End.

9. Eiko and Barbie started to have tea parties and Cid's cake. Yup. The End.

10. Ya never expect Kuja to fall in love with Hilda, huh!? The End.

11. If Kuja had a last name (possibly Tribal) he would change it to a better one... hmm, how about Monterey? Presto? Ali? Kuja? (Kuja Kuja. hmm...) How about the 8th? Magico? hmm...The End.

12. What if there's an alternate FF9? Instead of Queen Garnet seeing Zidane and falling in love with him, what about Queen Garnet seeing Marcus and falling in love with him? Or Kuja? Or Sephiroth? Or Cid from FF7? Or her lost love... and oglop? The End.

13. What if Freya was the Princess? I can see it now... Zidane trying to kidnap her and Garnet taking Freya's place...kewlerz.(Someone should do a story about that! I can't cause I'm busy with other stories...just a suggestion!) The End.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Yeah! Okay!

_Wow, when was the last time I updated this? Three years ago? Wow, well after playing Final Fantasy 9 I came up with some new strange endings. Enjoy._

1.Beatrix met up with Barney the Dinosaur and you know what? They had pizza and strip poker with the cast of the Teletubbies. The End.

Queen Brahne joined the strip poker game and won! Or is it lost? The End.

Garnet somehow was infatuated with Oglops and crossbred Oglops and Chocobos. The End.

Chuckie (Evil!) took over Alexandria. The End.

Barney rampaged through the streets of Treno burning everything but homeless Barbie saved the day with her oil soaked rags. The End.

Zidane and Vivi made the NBA. The End.

Quina entered in the eating olympics and won . . . 2nd place? The End.

Eiko won first. The True End.

Amarant became a ballarina and reenacted the play of the Nut Cracker (Tutu included). The End.

The entire FF9 crew met up with the Advent Children crew and cried because the Advent Children crew dressed way cooler than they did. The End.

_Alright I'm sorry folks but I ran out of ideas. Perhaps I'll come up with more if I had reviews come my way. Oh well. _


End file.
